1.

Image courtesy of Melody Planet

2. She’s 15, what could she possibly have to write about?

3. Videos like this: 

 

To be honest, I could go on for days about all the little things that the vile teenager does and says that make me want to move to a third world country. However, Miss Cyrus is the perfect storm of all things PR.

She is massively popular with teenage and pre teen girls (why this is I will never know) but at the same time commands the attention of gossip site worshippers. She has so much media attention that she runs a great risk that she will come across negatively to some but be practically stalked by the others. She could probably do without the half naked pictures or the racy Vanity Fair photo shoots but that would not make her stand out in the adult gossip scene of sex scandals and divorces.

Miley is almost a new breed of celebrity because of her sheer popularity. It really does say a lot about the “pimping out” marketing that both Disney and her terrible family have done to her. We have yet to see any other teen celebrity be followed and exploited to this extent. Keeping that in mind, maybe her book will be interesting. I wonder if her birth was filmed in hopes that one day Billy Ray would be able to sell it as a package deal with Miley’s soul. You have to pay for that new riding lawnmower some how.

Apparently not all of the benefits of your job need to be listed in your contract. This week, Eddy Van Halen proposed to his “long time girlfriend” who coincidentally ended up being his publicist.

Call me old fashioned, but doesn’t this raise a red flag as far as ethics go? For argument’s sake, let’s disregard the age difference (15 years) and focus on the real issue of whether it is appropriate or not to date a client. When is it okay to mix your professional life with your personal one?

According to me, never. As soon as your cross that line there is no turning back, especially not in the eyes of your peers or (more importantly) the eyes of your potential clients. Once you take your business relationship to a level where it no longer solely involves business activities, you open the door to a plethora of new challenges. Mixing your career with something as volatile as a relationship with a celebrity is like getting a tattoo on your forehead; you better make sure it is something you can commit to. 

Don’t get me wrong, these things do work out on occasion. Look at Heidi Montag and her “manager” (does this mean she has an actual career?) Spencer Pratt. They are one of the most talked about couples in Hollywood and are still going strong. That being said, does either of them have any credibility? Will any aspiring “singer” look to Spencer for guidance? I would guess not since Heidi’s notoriety is not a result of her music, rather her tumultuous ”reality” show. 

In the end, it is indeed a personal decision on whether or not it is right for publicists to date clients, but in my opinion it is like playing Russian roulette with your career. Stars are in demand personalities, there will always be another person available to them to “have a relationship” with, which is a huge red flag when starting a romance with anyone. Now take into account that you will have to see them on a regular basis, regardless of whether or not you are their flavor of the week. The whole situation just has DISASTER written all over it.

Image courtesy of cache.daylife.com

According to E!online, Kardashian failed to complete the terms of her probation by the deadline that the judge had previously set. Luckily for her, Bruce Jenner, her step-father and living proof that Botox can walk, has the money to hire quite a lawyer (apparently not the same guy who represent her sister Kim in her time of legal need). The Jenner-Kardashian attorney convinced the judge and revealed to the media that Khloe only had one class left, which is somehow overbooked so she is unable to complete it at this time.

How convenient. I guess all the DUI offenders in California have been clamoring to get into “Morgue 101″ for over 19 months so poor Khloe couldn’t possibly squeeze it in. I guess she’ll have to cut in front of Shia and Heather so she can complete it by the new deadline, November 17, 2008.

This almost makes you wonder what would’ve happened had she actually completed the classes on time. A congressional medal of honor perhaps? Maybe she could write a book about her hours spent in jail and win a Pulitzer. At least then she’d be famous for doing something besides making her sisters look miniscule next to her Sasquatch-like posture.

To Khloe’s credit, she at least appeared at her court hearing which is a huge step for any celebrity. Apparently you can just get a note from a physician and you don’t even have to show up!

Wait, what was Britney’s excuse for missing all those court dates again?

Oh right, she was nuts.

Go ahead and call me naive, but telling one of the biggest names in the entertainment that they should be ashamed of themselves probably is not the best PR move in the world. Although I am inclined to agree with Megan that Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens are Disney’s pawns in the preteen market, but severing a relationship with a company that large and powerful is borderline idiotic. Disney owns everything that Coca Cola doesn’t; ABC, ESPN, Soapnet, to name a few.

Luckily for the lovely Ms. Fox, she will never have a problem finding work outside of the Disney bubble. Transformers is just the launching pad for her career and I’m sure we’ll see great things from the outspoken bombshell if she doesn’t pull a Lindsey Lohan and end up in rehab. Even if she does, she’ll do it her way and don’t expect an apology.

Prior to Kanye’s episode last night, I had many reasons why I would never want to work for him. First and foremost his Hurricane Katrina comments are the epitome of every publicist’s worst nightmare. Although, there is no better way to follow up such bold statements than with the physical abuse of a “lesser” human being.

The icing on this cupcake of horrific publicity is that the incident has been picked up by news outlets above and beyond the usual suspects of the celebrity blogosphere. The Associated Press, CNN, and ABC News are just a few major news networks to run the story about Kanye’s brawl. 

The West camp has yet to release a statement regarding the attack on the paparazzo and the demolition of his $10,000 camera. My guess is that “No comment” will cause nothing but more speculation about the reasons behind the aggression. Is he on drugs? Does he need anger management? Did he pull a Britney? Even if one of these happens to be true (my money is on the latter), the publicist needs to make a statement along the lines of “Mr. West is disappointed with what happened this morning and would like to solve this matter in a dignified manner at a later time.”

Chances are the media is going to eat him alive. Again, one of the downsides to attacking someone with a camera is that there is usually someone else with a camera in the vicinity.

Note to Kanye: Next time you might want to take yourself off your high horse instead of having a member of the “press” drag you off it.